You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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