Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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