Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I still have a little drunk in my system
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
