no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
