You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
