I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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