she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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