I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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