Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I want her autograph on my taint
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
