God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
