Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
