This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Still dying that you shit outside
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i think i just lost a toe
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
