Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
