omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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