You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
