john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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