i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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