I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
