Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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