I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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