What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
im calling her cock vulture from now on
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
