"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
