so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
