i just had sex bonerless
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
