oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
