So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just gift wrapped bread.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
