no, he came in my armpit
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
