His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
