if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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