We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
