Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
