i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
