Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
