Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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