Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
