butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
