She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
