I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
