shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
