it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
