He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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