i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
