I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
