Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
