Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
