Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
