why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
