Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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