She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
