Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
